#214

life's fine when i avoid anything and everything to do with you.
but it's not that easy.
i can't help but to read your letter every night.
and to lie like you used to on my bed.
i can't help but to stand in front of the mirror and fix my hair the way you used to.
i can't listen to anything without it reminding me of you in some way.
i can't watch any movies, because that's all we used to do.
i can't eat kinder surprises, or burb then giggle.
i have no one to stare at while their driving, tapping on the steering wheel and singing.
i have no one who tells me to shut up then smothers me with kisses.
no more play fights, or yelling at each other just so we can cuddle.
no more teaching me to play weird little computer games, or poking tongues out at each other.
no more pretending to be interested in so many things just so i can get you to talk about them.
no more me helping you decifer colours.
no more school emails, or random drives.
no more nights of doing nothing.
no more, anything.
i guess i should just get over it, but i can't.
promises will always mean nothing to me now.
but then again, it may just be an excuse so i have a reason to be angry at you.

but, you've already moved on.
and that's okay. there's no use in crying over spilt milk.

time to move on bianca.
find a distraction.
or just, feel sorry for yourself.
either way is fine, for now.