#51

i've come to the conclusion, that the series of "Girlosophy" books are the biggest load of shit ever.
but yet, i've become so attached to them that i can't seem to put in them down.

njklfsdlf, dearest bible.

#50

If I was a fly

And I had a day left ‘til I die
I would lay down ‘til tomorrow
You’re clipping my wings
I try to win you back with all my words that you know mean nothing
You could have believed in me
You could have believed in me
And I saw a tear on a rose and I swept it off for you
As I gag on my guts ‘cause I’m watching you give up
I’m a tear in the clock as you walk away
I can almost taste the glaze on your lips
Smacking away into the night
They say at least he’s my friend
And he’ll treat you kindly in the end
Call me bitter but I’m brimming with hate for both of you
A film if playing in my head of you fornicating in his bed
The satin sheets are ruby red like your nails that scarred my back
And you could have believed in my
Baby you could have believed in me
And I saw a tear on a rose and I clipped it off for you
I’m a fly on a wall and I’m watching you give up
I’m a tear in the clock as you walk away
I can almost see a shade of your blue eyes
Fading away into the night
You never believed in me
But I will believe in me
Now I take a match to the rose that I gave, my love, to you
Won’t forgive
Won’t forget
And the rage will lift me up
I hope you choke on his tongue
As I walk away I will not watch his hands as they deftly pull you away
Into the night

#49

#48

#47

#46

I woke up feeling wiped out. God knows where I've been all night, but my feet hurt. Outside my window, a phenomenon is taking place. The sun and moon hang side-by-side over the water. Two sides of the same coin. I climb from bed slowly, much as an old man might maneuver from his musty bed in midwinter, finding it difficult for a moment even to make water. I tell myself that has to be a temporary condition. In a few years, no problem. But when I look out the window again, there's a sudden swoop of feeling. Once more I'm arrested with the beauty of this place. I was lying if I ever said anything to the contrary. I love closer to the glass and see it's happened between this thought and that. The moon is gone. Set, at last.

#45

i'm tired of a life made of repetition.
i want something new. something spontaneous. something intriguing to happen to me.
i'm tired of constantly feeling like i need to change who i am, and the way i live my life to suit anothers.
i'm tired of having that continuous gut feeling that i know i will never, ever be the person i know i can be.
there's so much holding me back, i'm holding myself back.

to know that you're nothing more than the scum at the bottom of the never ending cycle, makes you feel even more like shit.
because while you're waiting for your 'perfect window of opportunity', i have missed thousands of my own.
why? because im so fucking reliant on others happiness to posses my own.

i wish i was independent.
i wish i could be able to make drastic changes, and stick to my word.
-able to not worry so much about how fucked up society is, and more on the fact that noone else is going to help me, but me.
because its true, and you fucking know it.
i want to be able to be somewhat in the slightest an individual.
with my own thoughts, my own walk, my own talk.
my own way of living, my own life.
instead, i am molded by every love and every hate i have been able to exhibit over the last seventeen and a half years of living.

ugh, i know this is nothing but ramble but i just need to write something, i need to get this out.

i hate who i am. i hate everything i stand for, because in my eyes- it means nothing.
because relevant of what people say, one single person taking a stand for something does jack-fucking-shit.

for fucks sake- get me out of here.

#44

I love john mayer.

This is a call to the colorblind
This is an IOU
I'm stranded behind the horizon line
Tied up in something true

Yes I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting for my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for

Why is it not the time?
What is there more to learn?.. yeah
I shed this skin I've been tripping in
Never to quite return

Yes I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting for my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for
Cause I'm bigger than my body now

Maybe I'll tangle in the power lines
And it might be over in a second's time
But I'll gladly go down in a flame
If a flame's what it takes to remember my name
To remember my name, yeah

Yes I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting for my fuse to dry
Waiting for my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body now

Oooh... Oooh....Ooo..Ooo
Oooh... Oooh....Ooo..Ooo

#43

release me.

#42

#41

http://nothingpersonalblog.tumblr.com/

ahahah, kudos

#40

#39

maybe it's time to think inside the square, and search around for a bit.
rather than knowing that everyone else is looking out the outside, missing all the wonders and mystery of the unknown facts of the substance inside.

#38

never fall asleep with anger towards someone,
you may not be able to fix it in the morning.

#37

' will you still love me in the morning? '
friday 16, october 2009.
i love you.

#36

i have been reborn.

#35

they never cease to amaze me.

#34

i miss her so much.

#33

'Where we are, there's daggers in men's smiles'

Macbeth Act 2, Scene 3

#32

we only ever see our side of the story.

#31

Dear Self,
You lie inside your head. Your thoughts confuse you, and you would rather be anyone else than yourself. You convince yourself of things that aren’t true. You might think you are ugly, stupid, mean, or annoying, when you are actually none of those things. You constantly put yourself down and convince yourself that you don’t deserve anything good. You don’t hear compliments and when people give you one, you deny it. You give others the compliments you wish you could give yourself, but when you think of who you are, only the negative comes to mind. It is possible you are paranoid about what others are saying about you behind your back, or are trying to match yourself to an impossible standard. There might have been someone in your life who put you down so much you actually started to believe it. Trust me, if you think you are a bad person, you most likely aren’t. Bad people think they are good, otherwise they wouldn’t be as mean. You lie because you mistake it for the truth. When others tell you positive things about yourself, you often just believe they are lying to make you feel better. In actuality, they are telling the truth and you are lying to yourself. Your weakness are the people who don’t openly compliment you, but truly believe you are amazing anyway. Their compliments are along the lines of “You make me feel happy” or “You are my everything.” A lot of people find these cheesy, but these are the compliments that allow you to feel good about yourself for who you are. When people tell you good things about themselves and tell you it’s all because of you, the dark lies you tell yourself seem to float away.

#30

In il nome de padre, figlio e spirito sante.

#29

As long as you’re happy.
The cleaners sweep the city streets
While some still sit and sorely weep,
they rest there head on the gutters edge
And stare up at the blurred night sky.

And some still dance, while holding hands,
They breath romance while they still have a chance,
they drink to those, who’s heart still grows
and sways to the dull thud of existence.

And glass lays cracked from where its been smashed,
and I can feel it uneven beneath my back,
and its digging in, while the winter wind
leaves me cold, to the bones.

The taxis pass in dejavu,
I watch lovers depart with their I love you’s.
they smile so large it could break there jaw,
their eyes grow wide in chemical awe.

And when morning comes, there’s no one left,
they’ve wandered into each others beds
And the pavement speaks of what they’ve spread,
another day of recycled death,
Bare and baron, sore.

I watch as the sky slowly fades
and shines light down upon this open grave.
Another night, another day
and I breathe so long as you’re happy.
- karl-christoph

#28

This is just something short, because my mind is running 5678909876546789 miles an hour at the moment, and I know this sounds so clique, but I despise the fact that no matter what I say, that no matter what I do- it has already previously been executed to the best standard possible. And for the people who have made an impact, fuck you- It's not even possible for anyone to cerebrate, to cherish, to value this fucking world and all that we stand for because it's nothing more than a lie. All that we believe in means nothing, because you fucking arseholes had to go out there, and draw a line. An invisible line, that each and every fucking one of us want to clutch on too for dear life to make us feel part of something. Something that means something, something more than to just exist. But you placed it too far up in the sky for us to catch. Too far up for us to even see, but god-dammit, we know it's there. And knowing that it's there, and that we're all unable to grab hold of it, just makes us want it even more. This line separates us as humans. It separates the good from the bad, the smart from the dumb, the sharp from the dull, the articulate from the misrepresented. It makes us who we are, who we want to be, who we will be, and everything in between. I resent that fact that no one in their own right-mind could, or would even have the possibility too become their own person in their own idiosyncratic manor. Fuck the world, fuck the law, fuck human kind. Be who ever the fuck you want too be, before it's too fucking late. Take risks, take leaps- dear god, try to become something more than a scum at the bottom of the food chain. No matter how low your self esteem is, or how pessimistic you may be towards life, nothing is going to give you that feeling of self accomplishment and joviality than knowing that you took that risk, you took that jump, you stepped outside your comfort zone to try something new, to be something else. For the love of God; love life. Be you, Nothing more-Nothing less. 'Cause that's all we can do, I guess.

#27

think about it..

#26

the world is only as big as we imagine it to be..

#25

has anybody even questioned the amount of holes a sponge actually has?
i swear, its infinite.