#51

i've come to the conclusion, that the series of "Girlosophy" books are the biggest load of shit ever.
but yet, i've become so attached to them that i can't seem to put in them down.

njklfsdlf, dearest bible.

#50

If I was a fly

And I had a day left ‘til I die
I would lay down ‘til tomorrow
You’re clipping my wings
I try to win you back with all my words that you know mean nothing
You could have believed in me
You could have believed in me
And I saw a tear on a rose and I swept it off for you
As I gag on my guts ‘cause I’m watching you give up
I’m a tear in the clock as you walk away
I can almost taste the glaze on your lips
Smacking away into the night
They say at least he’s my friend
And he’ll treat you kindly in the end
Call me bitter but I’m brimming with hate for both of you
A film if playing in my head of you fornicating in his bed
The satin sheets are ruby red like your nails that scarred my back
And you could have believed in my
Baby you could have believed in me
And I saw a tear on a rose and I clipped it off for you
I’m a fly on a wall and I’m watching you give up
I’m a tear in the clock as you walk away
I can almost see a shade of your blue eyes
Fading away into the night
You never believed in me
But I will believe in me
Now I take a match to the rose that I gave, my love, to you
Won’t forgive
Won’t forget
And the rage will lift me up
I hope you choke on his tongue
As I walk away I will not watch his hands as they deftly pull you away
Into the night

#49

#48

#47

#46

I woke up feeling wiped out. God knows where I've been all night, but my feet hurt. Outside my window, a phenomenon is taking place. The sun and moon hang side-by-side over the water. Two sides of the same coin. I climb from bed slowly, much as an old man might maneuver from his musty bed in midwinter, finding it difficult for a moment even to make water. I tell myself that has to be a temporary condition. In a few years, no problem. But when I look out the window again, there's a sudden swoop of feeling. Once more I'm arrested with the beauty of this place. I was lying if I ever said anything to the contrary. I love closer to the glass and see it's happened between this thought and that. The moon is gone. Set, at last.

#45

i'm tired of a life made of repetition.
i want something new. something spontaneous. something intriguing to happen to me.
i'm tired of constantly feeling like i need to change who i am, and the way i live my life to suit anothers.
i'm tired of having that continuous gut feeling that i know i will never, ever be the person i know i can be.
there's so much holding me back, i'm holding myself back.

to know that you're nothing more than the scum at the bottom of the never ending cycle, makes you feel even more like shit.
because while you're waiting for your 'perfect window of opportunity', i have missed thousands of my own.
why? because im so fucking reliant on others happiness to posses my own.

i wish i was independent.
i wish i could be able to make drastic changes, and stick to my word.
-able to not worry so much about how fucked up society is, and more on the fact that noone else is going to help me, but me.
because its true, and you fucking know it.
i want to be able to be somewhat in the slightest an individual.
with my own thoughts, my own walk, my own talk.
my own way of living, my own life.
instead, i am molded by every love and every hate i have been able to exhibit over the last seventeen and a half years of living.

ugh, i know this is nothing but ramble but i just need to write something, i need to get this out.

i hate who i am. i hate everything i stand for, because in my eyes- it means nothing.
because relevant of what people say, one single person taking a stand for something does jack-fucking-shit.

for fucks sake- get me out of here.

#44

I love john mayer.

This is a call to the colorblind
This is an IOU
I'm stranded behind the horizon line
Tied up in something true

Yes I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting for my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for

Why is it not the time?
What is there more to learn?.. yeah
I shed this skin I've been tripping in
Never to quite return

Yes I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting for my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for
Cause I'm bigger than my body now

Maybe I'll tangle in the power lines
And it might be over in a second's time
But I'll gladly go down in a flame
If a flame's what it takes to remember my name
To remember my name, yeah

Yes I'm grounded
Got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting for my fuse to dry
Waiting for my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
Cause I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body
I'm bigger than my body now

Oooh... Oooh....Ooo..Ooo
Oooh... Oooh....Ooo..Ooo

#43

release me.

#42

#41

http://nothingpersonalblog.tumblr.com/

ahahah, kudos

#40

#39

maybe it's time to think inside the square, and search around for a bit.
rather than knowing that everyone else is looking out the outside, missing all the wonders and mystery of the unknown facts of the substance inside.

#38

never fall asleep with anger towards someone,
you may not be able to fix it in the morning.

#37

' will you still love me in the morning? '
friday 16, october 2009.
i love you.

#36

i have been reborn.

#35

they never cease to amaze me.

#34

i miss her so much.

#33

'Where we are, there's daggers in men's smiles'

Macbeth Act 2, Scene 3

#32

we only ever see our side of the story.